my own worst enemy

Hi-larious e-mails

Monday, February 19, 2007

One of the unfortunate side-effects of having a very common name (my birth name, not Goat) and owning the GMail address for it is that I get a lot of e-mail intended for other people. Many of them have been quite interesting -- search results from Monster.com (who knew I was looking for a new job?) and internship offers from judges in Missouri, just to name a few. These have been mildly amusing and I have enjoyed responding and kindly explaining the mishap.

Then I got this e-mail:

Subject: What the craic?

Dood-
TWAT UP? R U COMING TO 2 FRISCO LET US KNO CUZ WE HURD U WAS.........HOLLERATIT

LOVE,

ANNIE AND SONIA AND WAYNE

Okay, let's start from the top. The word "craic" in the subject line is actually attributed to the Gaelic language and means "fun, good times, good company." If you do a little research you'll find that it is pronounced "crack" and that the question, "What's the craic?" is common in colloquial vernacular. So, barring the missing astrophe "s", we can assume the sender is reasonably intelligent and even possesses knowledge of Irish slang.

Then there's the rest of the message. Wow. To quote Will Ferrell playing Alex Trebek, "And the show has reach an all-time low." By "the show" I mean "America", and by "an all-time low" I mean "a bleak future."

Okay, maybe I'm being an elitist pig here, but is it that hard to spell out words and use halfway proper punctuation? I can let the slang slide because it's a personal message and sometimes you want you voice to come through the writing. I'll even let the lack or proper capitalization slide for the same reason. But there's no need to shout. Turn off CAPS LOCK, fool.

A few days later I receieved another e-mail, this time from a different member of the trio.

Subject: yeaah

keep it choice dog just chillin in s.f.

A slight improvement, but still. Yikes.

I have come to a few possible conclusions:

1. These people are on crack. Not craic. Cocaine.
2. They are the children of hippy liberalists that infest the San Francisco area. This would support conclusion one (See South Park episode titled "Smug Alert")
3. They are the result of a society that promotes laziness and an "everybody wins" mentality (see "Hippies"), and as a result have never been motivated to learn to type or speak properly.

And people think Kentuckians are stupid.

Labels: e-mail, grammar, hippies, I'm surrounded by morons

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