Keeping up with the Cardassians
Wednesday, January 02, 2008
I'm walking back to work after lunch today with my coworkers and one of them is debating what new car to buy. She's debating between Toyota and Lexus SUVs. My other coworker points out a Mazda RX-72 ZC (or some other stupid combination of letters and numbers) and says "How about that one? That's what the Cardassians drive." I swear to God I thought he was talking about the alien race on Star Trek that have big thumb-prints in their foreheads. I busted up laughing because it seemed absurd for a Cardassian to be driving a Mazda SUV. Where were the cannons for shooting up Bajorans?
My quickly figured out what I thought they said and started laughing at me. Turns out there's some reality TV show called "Keeping up with the Kardashians" where they just follow some family around. Now, I read a lot of useless shit on the internet everyday and watch my fair share of television, all for the sake of keeping up with pop culture, but I have never even heard of this show. Apparently I'm supposed to know all about this show which, from what I gather, is about some bimbo and her family. What the deuce is going on?
Labels: I'm a big nerd, I'm surrounded by morons, TV
Author: Goat » Comments:
A Case of the Mondays
Monday, June 18, 2007
We all use this phrase from time to time, usually in a joking manner to describe having to go back to work after an awesome weekend. But today it applied to my life in the truest of terms. I knew for sure when the IT guy killed my computer by trying to reinstall Adobe. How the eff do you kill a computer by reinstalling a program? I have no idea, but I'm pretty sure it has something to do with the IT guy messing with Windows' registry. Even the stupidest Windows user knows not to touch the registry in Windows. And if you do, you effing back up the hard drive somewhere beforehand.
Add this on top of the fact that I had a hard time sleeping last night, I feel slightly sick after surfing in the pollution-infested waters of LA yesterday, and the fact that all my work must be done on a computer, and you have the reason why I went home at 2:30 this afternoon. I would have left sooner except that there was a meeting scheduled for 2:00, which was cancelled at 1:45. Awesome.
Count this as Exhibit XD for evidence for hating my job.
Labels: I'm surrounded by morons, work
Author: Goat » Comments:
Hi-larious e-mails
Monday, February 19, 2007
One of the unfortunate side-effects of having a very common name (my birth name, not Goat) and owning the GMail address for it is that I get a lot of e-mail intended for other people. Many of them have been quite interesting -- search results from Monster.com (who knew I was looking for a new job?) and internship offers from judges in Missouri, just to name a few. These have been mildly amusing and I have enjoyed responding and kindly explaining the mishap.
Then I got this e-mail:
Subject: What the craic?
Dood-
TWAT UP? R U COMING TO 2 FRISCO LET US KNO CUZ WE HURD U WAS.........HOLLERATIT
LOVE,
ANNIE AND SONIA AND WAYNE
Okay, let's start from the top. The word "craic" in the subject line is actually attributed to the Gaelic language and means "fun, good times, good company." If you do a
little research you'll find that it is pronounced "crack" and that the question, "What's the craic?" is common in colloquial vernacular. So, barring the missing astrophe "s", we can assume the sender is reasonably intelligent and even possesses knowledge of Irish slang.
Then there's the rest of the message. Wow. To quote Will Ferrell playing Alex Trebek, "And the show has reach an all-time low." By "the show" I mean "America", and by "an all-time low" I mean "a bleak future."
Okay, maybe I'm being an elitist pig here, but is it that hard to spell out words and use halfway proper punctuation? I can let the slang slide because it's a personal message and sometimes you want you voice to come through the writing. I'll even let the lack or proper capitalization slide for the same reason. But there's no need to shout. Turn off CAPS LOCK, fool.
A few days later I receieved another e-mail, this time from a different member of the trio.
Subject: yeaah
keep it choice dog just chillin in s.f.
A slight improvement, but still. Yikes.
I have come to a few possible conclusions:
- These people are on crack. Not craic. Cocaine.
- They are the children of hippy liberalists that infest the San Francisco area. This would support conclusion one (See South Park episode titled "Smug Alert")
- They are the result of a society that promotes laziness and an "everybody wins" mentality (see "Hippies"), and as a result have never been motivated to learn to type or speak properly.
And people think Kentuckians are stupid.
Labels: e-mail, grammar, hippies, I'm surrounded by morons
Author: Goat » Comments:
