Keeping up with the Cardassians
Wednesday, January 02, 2008
I'm walking back to work after lunch today with my coworkers and one of them is debating what new car to buy. She's debating between Toyota and Lexus SUVs. My other coworker points out a Mazda RX-72 ZC (or some other stupid combination of letters and numbers) and says "How about that one? That's what the Cardassians drive." I swear to God I thought he was talking about the alien race on Star Trek that have big thumb-prints in their foreheads. I busted up laughing because it seemed absurd for a Cardassian to be driving a Mazda SUV. Where were the cannons for shooting up Bajorans?
My quickly figured out what I thought they said and started laughing at me. Turns out there's some reality TV show called "Keeping up with the Kardashians" where they just follow some family around. Now, I read a lot of useless shit on the internet everyday and watch my fair share of television, all for the sake of keeping up with pop culture, but I have never even heard of this show. Apparently I'm supposed to know all about this show which, from what I gather, is about some bimbo and her family. What the deuce is going on?
Labels: I'm a big nerd, I'm surrounded by morons, TV
Author: Goat » Comments:
The Glory of Love
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
I'm talking to my coworker today about my upcoming trip to Japan, and he tells me I need to stay at some place with the paper sliding doors overlooking some beautiful forest. I could eat at one of those super short tables and share tea and sleep on a mat, he continues. By this point the image of Daniel Russo and his hottie Japanese lady-friend is in my head, not to mention Peter Cetera's voice. Suddenly I'm transported into a daydream where I'm saving Ginger from some Japanese foil of myself whom I have dishonored.
Daniel Russo dishonored himself by cheating on Elisabeth Shue's character.I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that my trip will be nothing like that. I sure hope it isn't. I have zero karate skills and would probably get my butt whooped in a fight. We goats are pacifists, you know. Sure, we talk a big talk. Like last night when Matt and I were watching
Last One Standing. We were both like, "This guy sucks. He needs to get in there and bash that Zulu's shield with his stick a few times, scare the crap out of him, you know, and then start goin' for the legs." And in reality, we would have been crying like women, tucked in the fetal position, if we were on the show. Sure, there's some primal rage somewhere down in there, but it would take a lot to require unleashing. And it would probably do more harm than good. Oh, check out the show if you haven't already. It's on Discovery Channel.
Labels: Ginger, Japan, TV
Author: Goat » Comments:
skeew wef tsap ehT
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
For those of you who haven't (a) read the Davinci Code, or (b) completed 6th grad world history, the title of this blog post is "The past few weeks" in reverse. Why? Because this post is going to be all about ingrown toenails. And by "ingrown toenails", I mean "the past few weeks of my life told in reverse chronological order." Before I begin, I have to make this disclaimer: If you read this post backwards, there is a secret message. I'm not sure what it is, but I'm pretty sure it's the same story told in chronological order. Only time will tell.
I think I'm coming down with something, which is bad because Alaska is coming to LA to visit this weekend. I haven't seen him since the Irish whooped up on Ty Willingham in Seattle a couple years ago, so it's bound to be a heartwarming reunion. Plus, it will probably convince some of the other LA Domers (
Carolyn) to come hang out. I have no idea why I just coughed Carolyn's name in my blog, seeing how she probably doesn't even know it exists and thus will never read it. And who's fault is that? Sure, sure, blame it on the Goat.
Oh! Speaking of goats, I saw the funniest thing the other day on Dirty Jobs with Mike Rowe. Before I tell you what it was, I have to tell you check out this show. It's like This Old House, but with things that are interesting. Okay, back to the story. So good ol' Mike Rowe visits a goat farm in Tennessee that's famous for it's "fainting" goats. This breed has a condition where the goats will stiffen up like they have rigor mortis, and they usually end up falling over on their sides with legs pointing straight out! HI-larious. I nearly fell off the couch. Luckily, Ginger found it amusing that I liked the fainting goats.
"Ginger?" you say? Yup. My special lady-friend made it out to LA this weekend to go to a wedding with me up in Beverly Hills. We felt pretty fancy rolling up to the Beverly Hilton for the reception in the Stardust Room. To quote Ginger: "Fayun-cy!" We had a good time even if the power did go out mid-reception. My buddy Keith picked up the slack by sitting down at the baby grand piano and belting out some dueling piano-bar favorites. I think he made $10 in tips, too. Most of it came from the DJ.
Fourth of July this year saw yet another party at the Sheldon Chateau. While lower-key than previous years, it still delivered like only a Chateau party can. Beer brats, beer pong, and a game of cups that pitted the PLACE Corps teachers against the Northrop Grumman engineers. I bet you can guess which side won just by guessing which side drinks competitively more.
A few days before that I finally got to rotate to my new job. So I'm pretty stoked about this. I've basically gone from hating my job to loving it. I'm finally getting to do work in the field of telecommunications, instead of the field of pointless documents that kill the rainforest. I can actually feel the atrophy of my brain stopping and new cells being regenerated. Or maybe that's a tumor. We should consult Detective John Kimble.
"It's not a tumor!" That guy's my governor. Anywho, I share an office with a brand new hire who just graduated from USC. So far she seems pretty nice, so I'm cool with it. There are a lot more Trojan fans in the office, too, so that's going to make things interesting.
PLACE Corps + tradition = Annual 4th of July camping trip to Sequoia National Forest. In a rare turn of events, the non-PLACErs were the largest group which meant the conversations didn't revolve around teaching. Instead, they're weren't any conversations AT ALL. Engineers are socially awkward. Thank you, Captain Obvious. I did get to take windsurfing lessons, though, which was sweet. That shit is hard, though. It didn't help that we were trying to learn in 20-30 mph gusts. The instructor said it would build character, or some similar non-sensical raving. He was old.
And there you have it. Consider this the fat lady singing.
Labels: All my friends are getting married, Domers, Ginger, I'm a big nerd, Sheldon Chateau, summer, TV
Author: Goat » Comments:
I want my baby back, baby back, baby back...
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
I got a letter form U.S. Customs this weekend telling me that they are finally ready to "remit the forfeiture of my vehicle," which is a bunch of fancy lawyer jargon for "you can have your car back." That's right, bitches, Rashanda the Honda is that much closer to making her way back into my arms! Sadly, nothing is easy when the government is involved, so there are still several steps before I get my baby back. I have to sign a Hold Harmless Agreement, pay storages fees (which will probably be about $700 which I'm not happy about), schedule an insurance adjuster, get the car towed back to LA, get the registration re-instated, and so on, and so on. Basically, it's going to take up a whole weekend here soon. The worst part is that I still have no idea what shape she is in. All I've been told is that the radio is gone (big surprise) and that Customs had to remove some sort of "compartment."
In our own form of civil boycott, my roommates and I have decided to form our own 50-mile bicycle ride right here in the safety of the U-nited States of Amerka. We're calling it the "Dude, Where's My Car" Bicycle Ride. Some of us, whose names rhyme with "boat," are fondly refering to it as the "Fuck Mexico"* Bicycle Ride. I'll let you think about that one for a bit. Anyways, the ride will begin somewhere in the vacinity of Buellton or Solvang and wind it's way down PCH to the town of Carpenteria, where there will be much drinking and debauchery, and no car thefts. We still have to map out the route, but we intend to hold the event on or about the same weekend as the Rosarito-Ensenada ride (that's the one where Rashanda was kidnapped).
As for the rest of this past weekend, everything rocked. The
barcade lived up to all expectations. Old school games at old school prices (just a quarter!) and PBR in a can for two bucks. Two bucks! I know, I know, that's $1.50 too much. But for LA nightlife, a two dollar beer is something special. Follow it all up with
Roscoe's Chicken & Waffles and you have a hell of an evening.
Saturday night was Mel & Jess's Mardi Gras party, complete with beads, masks, and streamers, none of which were used properly. None of the girls actually earned their beads, so that was a disappointment. Mostly it was just a grand occassion for getting housed. Mel apparently took advantage of said opportunity as she doesn't remember much of anything from the party. Well done.
Booter and I began watching the complete series of
The Adventures of Brisco County, Jr. If you have never seen this show, well, then you're in a sad state of affairs. Or blessed, depending how you look at it. To give you an idea of the target audience, my Dad absolutely loves the show for it's sense of humor. You've been warned. Or encouraged. You decide.
* Note: I don't hate all of Mexico, just the petty thieves, drug dealers, corrupt cops, and diarrhea-causing water.
Labels: Los Angeles, Mexico, Rashanda, TV, US Customs, weekend
Author: Goat » Comments:
