my own worst enemy

Goat & Lizett's Excellent Adventure

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

As you may already know, the beautiful and talented Lizett came to LA this weekend. What you probably don't know is what a crazy time it was! Hoo-wee! Let's get down to it.

The shiznittery all began when I picked her up at the airport. She was being held hostage by a group PETA activists led by Pamela Anderson for being a Texan, since Texans insult cows by using them as a mascot. Luckily, MI-6 had recently added some improvements to my '96 Civic, so I hewed through their human-wall barricade with my mini-guns and used a few RPGs to bust down the wall of the interrogation room where they were holding Lizett. She quickly darted through the hole in the wall with her luggage and into the back seat, ducking just in time for me fire two shots at Pam's grossly oversized breasts. Rashanda the Honda quickly sped away, but not before and enraged (and now flat) Pamela Anderson could release a flock of death-pigeons at us. The landed on top of the car and tried to shit all over it, so I engaged the EMP and shocked their asses back to pigeon hell.

Once back at the Chateau, we were shocked to see a telephone booth in the living room accompanied by a man named Rufus. Long story short, we travelled back in time, kidnapped a bunch of famous people and brought them back to 1989 where hilarity ensued as our captives wreaked havoc on the modern world. Oh, and we passed our final presentation at San Dimas High School. Excellent!

Haha, those crazy things didn't actually happen. I know it's hard to believe, but they didn't. Actually, our time together was pretty uneventful as her flight was late and I was still recovering from being sick. We did get to have dinner on Friday night at El Cholo, an excellent Mexican restaurant in Santa Monica. Lizett's friend Greg joined us, and although I couldn't hear anything he said all night, I could tell this guy was hilarious. B-Puff also joined us as well, and good times were had. Although, I must say, having two Faltos together reminded me of how much (and how loud) they talk. Especially during great movies, like Tombstone. What's wrong with you, Faltos? Jeez.

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