my own worst enemy

I am my own best friend

Thursday, June 21, 2007

As often as I manage to prove that I am, indeed, my own worst enemy, I think it's time to present some evidence to the contrary. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I give the best purchases I have made in the past two years.

4. Baller Suit

Now that all these crazy people I call "friends" are getting married, I decided my single black suit that I've owned for 7 years wasn't going to cut it anymore. So I grabbed my nearest female fashion consultant (normally Ginger, but in this case my friend Mel) and headed to JCPenney. A dozen suits and half a dozen drooling middle-age women in the fitting room later, I only found one suit I liked which, unfortunately, they did not have in my size. So I followed the infinite advice of commercial advertisement and headed to the nearest Men's Wearhouse. My salesperson was a wee girl with a delicious Texas accent who immediately pulled out an espresso pinstriped athletic-cut suit that made me look less like a mid-40s professional business man and more like a 20-something baller.

3. MacBook

That's right, I made the switch. Am I any happier for the fact? Quite possibly. In the end, it's not that much different than a PC. "Blasphemy!" cry the Mac users around the world. Okay, so there are things that are better, which rhyme with:

• Form Factor: It's lighter, slimmer, and sexier than its PC counterparts
• Speed: Booting and waking it up from Sleep Mode take seconds instead of minutes
• MacOS X: built on top of BSD - great for Linux nerds like me
• No viruses/spyware: No need to install process-intensive programs to guard against these

It's not perfect by any means, but still very nice.

2. Comet, the Night Horse

Otherwise known as my Mustang GT convertible, Comet provides turns the normally tedious task of driving in Los Angeles into an adventure. There's something about the purr of the engine that's soothing. In fact, my favorite part of the day is often the point when I walk out of my office and get into the Mustang and start the motor. My next favorite part is when the 300 horses under the hood accelerate me away from my office with extreme prejudice. I don't know what their prejudice is against, but I assure you that it is extreme. Combine that with the feeling of the ocean breeze through my short spiky hair and I forget all about the dissatisfying job that made this purchase possible.

1. The Mattress from Heaven

I'm not kidding here. This mattress is from heaven, made from the feathers of angels. Not bloody angel feathers like the ones in the movie Dogma (Catholicism, OW!), but soft, clean, comforting feathers that invite you to the realms of dreamland. What am I talking about? I don't know. Incidently, this amazing mattress is sold at your local mattess store under the guise of a Simmons Beautyrest Pelham Plush. I went hunting for this mattress the morning after I arrived in California two years ago. Ginger and I had slept on an air mattress the night before which had a hole in it, and thus, we woke up on the hard floor. We tried out several mattresses before lying on this one, and within 5 seconds Ginger had instictively rolled over, put her arm around me, and fallen asleep. The salesman started writing up the order slip before I could tell him we would take it. The rest is history. Sweet, blissful sleep history.

Labels: Evidence for the defense, Helloooo nurse

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