El Segundo Pub Crawl
Tuesday, February 28, 2006
So about a month or five ago, my roommates and I decided that we should host a Pub Crawl in our humble town, seeing as how there are ample bars within walking distance of our abode. Last weekend, our brainchild came to fruition.
This is one man's recollection of that event. Those readers who suffer from nausea, heart disease, myopia, or pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis should stop reading now.
For the reader's enjoyment, I have included a score of me vs. alcohol as dictated by rules fo AniMal's drinking game, which are as follows:
- I receive 1 point any time I drink either a shot or a pint of beer.
- Alcohol receives a point any time I due something stupid as a result of drinking.
Let hilarity commence.
The InvitationThis 4-day week has been more grueling since the time we had to ford the river and could only carry 100 lbs of buffalo, but fret no more. At the culmination of this abridged scholastic journey is an event with such an anticipatory quality that many of you are at risk of dysentery just from reading this e-mail. This Friday evening we will start at Stick and Stein and travel westward stopping only for necessary libations until we reach the budding Tavern on Main. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, it’s the first ever El Segundo Pub Crawl! Whether you choose to be a banker from Beverly Hills, a skillful farmer of Gardena, or a Comptoner in the middle, this pub crawl is your chance to benefit from some LA purchases. Gear up for Friday; it’s our manifest destiny.
-The Boys of Sheldon
The Lineup7:30 pm - Leave Chateau
8:00 pm - Stick & Stein
8:30 pm - Grand Street Café
9:30 pm - The Office
TBA - Purple Orchid Tiki Lounge
TBA - Richmond Bar and Grill
TBA - Crappy Bar by Richmond Bar and Grill
TBA - Mad Dog Ale House
TBA - Tavern on Main
2:00 am - Return to Chateau
Stick & Stein
It was a long and arduous walk from the Chateau to Stick & Stein, and needless to say our thirsts were in need of quenching. As luck would have it, the barkeep was prepared for us, pulling out 32 oz. schooners of our favorite quaffs. Soon we were engaged in a hearty conversation, about what I cannot remember. After a while Pete from BC joined our merry band, and Matthias arrived soon after from his school's Black History Month program. Both quickly made up for lost time and we headed out for out next stop.
On the walk to Grand Café, a discussion on carivorous habits ensued and it was quickly learned that Pete & Kelly were the only vegetarians in the group. Pete, having not eaten dinner, was craving some delicious falafel when Kelly informed him that there was a great vegetarian place just across the street. Mind you, that street was Sepulveda. Never wary of fast-moving objects, Pete proceeded to sprint across 8+ lanes of traffic. That man must really love falafel.
Grand CaféUpon arriving at the Grand Café, the first thing I noticed is the sign advertising their Breakfast Special - Pancakes, Eggs, Sausage & Bacon, all for under $4! (Note to self: hit this up sometime) Inside we find a classic airport dive bar run by what I believe was a Vietnamese couple. Solid liquor shelf, but only a handful of average beers on tap.
Matthias immediately orders up shots of Maker's Mark (he really is a saint!) and we're on a roll. Pete returns with falafel in stomach and we're also joined by a few more ladies. Time was short, so we all put back our beverage of choice so we could meet up with the other stragglers at The Office.
The walk back to downtown ES was less long and arduous than before, and Booter's shirt choice sparked a vivid discourse on 90's apparel. I can only hope to someday have his fashion sense. Rock on, Nostalgic Warrior!
The OfficeBy now we're running a bit behind schedule, but it's all good because a couple dozen of our friends are waiting for us at The Office. This brings our total to something around 35 crawlers. With our increased numbers we are beginning to scare the locals, making them flee to the outdoor patio.
Notable guests include the lovely Melissa Weyek, the Hermosa Crew, some C5s I don't know nearly well enough, and the Meyer's (John's father and brother). Speaking of C5s I don't know well enough, I called Patrick "Paul". Come to find out later in the weekend, Paul is the only African American in Place Corps. Patrick is most definitely not black. Oops. Sorry, Patrick.
Oh, and I almost walked into the women's restroom. Given some of the townies, thank Jebus it was locked.
Purple OrchidNext stop, Tiki Lounge. Our arrival prompted the quintessential quote of the evening:
Bartender: "What are you guys, college students or something?"
Matthias: "Nope, we're teachers." <loud cheers from PLACErs>
Matthias: "Six shots of Maker's, please."
I don't remember hearing this quote, but I do remember the Maker's (and it was oh-so-delicious). To be honest, I don't remember much about this bar. I'm pretty sure I gave Melissa a shoulder massage, and then gave one to Stephanie, too (didn't mean to weird you out, Steph). What I do remember is going back to the bathroom and standing puzzled in front of both doors. Neither were labeled but instead had a tiki god statue on them. After several back-and-forth glances (it was dark) , I noticed two pointy protuberances on one of the statues and quickly figured out it was not the door I wanted. Take that, alcohol.
Richmond Bar & Grill
Feeling quite good and ready to move on, Matthias and Phil officially declared that it was time to move on to Richmond's and bolted out the door. Taking a cue from the voice in my head that said, "Never mind their head-start; you can still beat them!", I took off in a mad sprint down the sidewalk. That's when the first casualty of the night occurred: one pair of Levi's destroyed and one right knee with a case of road rash. I am my own worst enemy.
I finally arrive at Richmond's to find out what my colleagues now know: Richmond's is closed. Closed?!?! It's only 11:15! Well, the owner is still there behind the bar but he's no longer serving customers. Phil goes into a long schpiel about how much he loves Richmond's freshly made potato chips and that he has been looking forward to them all night and he can't live without these chips and and ... and ... That's when the waitress says "I'll get you some cold chips out of the back." VICTORY!! We all agreed the owner is a class act and there were handshakes all around. God bless you, owner of Richmond's. God bless you.
Crappy Bar by Richmond Bar and GrillIn all fairness to the Crappy Bar by Richmond's, I would like to state as fact that its real name is Old Town Patio. That being said, we were so infatuated with our newly acquired chips that we entirely forgot about the Crappy Bar by Richmond's. It was about that time we noticed Joe Sports Bar driving by in his pickup truck. Fearing we wouldn't survive the one block walk to Tavern on Main, the six of us all piled into the bed of the truck. (Mind you, the rest of the pub crawlers had already moved on.) JSB decides to take the most inconspicuous route possibly and head down Grand to Main.
That's about the time someone saw a cop. So what does Joe do? He throws the truck in reverse, backs up Grand, pulls a U-ey, and I'm pretty sure he ran a stop sign, too. We're now back where we started in front of Richmond's. There's a white SUV next to us that people are talking to, and someone says we should get out of the pickup and into SUV. Genius! I immediately volunteer, get in, and buckle up. It's about this point I realize that I have no idea who the driver is. Luckily, three of my compadres have joined me and it turns out the guy is one of my friend's coworkers. Whew. We soon arrive safely and legally at Tavern on Main.
Tavern on Main
We pour out of our respective vehicles to find the other crawlers already inside the Tavern. We were there just long enough for a few photo ops when someone realizes that we skipped Mad Dog Ale House. A small band of crawlers loyal to the cause run out the door and sprinted over to the neglected bar. I nearly won the foot-race until a barefoot Matthias surpassed me in the last 20 feet. Why were we racing again? Oh yeah, beer. Mmmm, beer.
Mad Dog Ale House
Matthias immediately orders a round of Maker's for the small crew and we're back in business. It's about this time Matthias notices a guy sitting alone at the end of the bar eating a salad. "Why are you eating a salad?" he asks. Matthias is almost offended that this guy could be eating something green. The guy says he jsut wants to enjoy his meal, but Matthias wants nothing of it. Phil tries to patch things up, telling the guy we want to do a shot with him. Matthias immediately balks, "I'm not taking a shot with him unless he orders a hamburger!" Ah, here's to almost getting into a fight over eating meat. We quickly down our beers and hightail it out of there.
Tavern on Main (redux)
We arrive back at the Tavern to find much shiznittery taking place. I order up the worst beer I drank all night -- a Coors Light -- which was fine since I couldn't taste it anyways. In the meantime, the Vegetarians seem to be hitting it off and Matthias is dancing it up with the guy who drove the SUV. Good times all around.
Around 1:15am, a few of us decided we were finished. I'm pretty sure it was Pangle, John, Phil and myself. I don't know when everyone else left, but there were reports later that Matthias took off his pants and shoes, handed them to his girlfriend and ran through the streets of El Segundo in boxers and a t-shirt. Well done.
Author: Goat » Comments:
Official Announcement
Wednesday, February 22, 2006
I have just lost
The Game.
Author: Goat » Comments:
Goat & Lizett's Excellent Adventure
Tuesday, February 21, 2006
As you may already know, the beautiful and talented
Lizett came to LA this weekend. What you probably don't know is what a crazy time it was! Hoo-wee! Let's get down to it.
The shiznittery all began when I picked her up at the airport. She was being held hostage by a group PETA activists led by
Pamela Anderson for being a Texan, since Texans insult cows by using them as a mascot. Luckily, MI-6 had recently added some improvements to my '96 Civic, so I hewed through their human-wall barricade with my mini-guns and used a few RPGs to bust down the wall of the interrogation room where they were holding Lizett. She quickly darted through the hole in the wall with her luggage and into the back seat, ducking just in time for me fire two shots at Pam's grossly oversized breasts. Rashanda the Honda quickly sped away, but not before and enraged (and now flat) Pamela Anderson could release a flock of death-pigeons at us. The landed on top of the car and tried to shit all over it, so I engaged the EMP and shocked their asses back to pigeon hell.
Once back at the Chateau, we were shocked to see a telephone booth in the living room accompanied by a man named Rufus. Long story short, we travelled back in time, kidnapped a bunch of famous people and brought them back to 1989 where hilarity ensued as our captives wreaked havoc on the modern world. Oh, and we passed our final presentation at San Dimas High School. Excellent!
Haha, those crazy things didn't actually happen. I know it's hard to believe, but they didn't. Actually, our time together was pretty uneventful as her flight was late and I was still recovering from being sick. We did get to have dinner on Friday night at El Cholo, an excellent Mexican restaurant in Santa Monica. Lizett's friend Greg joined us, and although I couldn't hear anything he said all night, I could tell this guy was hilarious. B-Puff also joined us as well, and good times were had. Although, I must say, having two Faltos together reminded me of how much (and how loud) they talk. Especially during great movies, like Tombstone. What's wrong with you, Faltos? Jeez.
Author: Goat » Comments:
Short week
Thursday, February 09, 2006
It was a short weekend and has been a short week, so let's recap as briefly as possible.
Friday night saw some excellent roommate time as Phil and I went to the El Segundo v. Lawndale basketball game in Lawndale. The 'Gundo came home with a victory, and we came home to beer. Booter, Matthias, Bret (our Kramer) and I played some Beer Pong before calling it a successful night. Just so you know, Booter and Matthias make a formidable team. Bret and I handed them their first and only loss on the house table that night. You have been advised.
Saturday brought the UofL/ND basketball game at the early hour of 9:00am (West Coast bias, baby!). Holy crap, this was a good game! As
I told you I would, I rooted for my Cardinals. It was tough seeing as how ND keeps losing heartbreaking games, but my mind was already set. Besides, seeing the Louisville home court on TV made it hard not to root for them. I think my brain is hard-wired. Maybe it will be hard to root against ND next year when I see the court at the JACC on TV. Who knows? Jesus knows.
I then took an epic four hour nap. Have I mentioned how much I miss naps? Well, I do. Like the deserts miss the rain. Anyways, that afternoon we started a
game of Risk on which I have already commented. Pangle came over later and we educated her on the awesomeness that is
Tombstone. She now spouts off quotes like "I'm yo' huckleberry" and "You called down the thunder, well now yer gonna get it!" at opportune times. We enjoyed the performance of Val Kilmer so much that we watched
The Saint immediately afterwords, and I was immediately reminded of my crush on Elisabeth Shue (which is odd for me since I normally favor the brunette). Did you know she was also the girl in
Karate Kid? I didn't until this weekend. All hail, Captain Oblivious!
Sunday I went to mass with Pangle and Kelly at the school where they teach. On the way there I was informed that I would probably be the talk of all the middle school gossip the next week. Kelly tried to get me to hold Pangle's hand during mass or give her a peck on the cheek during the peace offering. Hi-larious. Needless to say, I didn't. (If I were AniMal, I would have said that I kicked her in the face, and then in the next sentence admitted that I didn't.)
That afternoon I went to Gilbert's to watch the Super Bowl. Is it just me, or is it getting lamer and lamer every year? Remember when the commercials used to actually be funny? Good times. I will admit that I loved the MacGyver commercial and the crime deterent cell phone. Gilbert cooked up some Cincinnati-style chili (see:
Skyline Chili) that was delicious, even if it was a little heavy on the cinnamon.
Monday night, my
dodgeball team lost for the first time this season. We were up 4-2 only to lose four straight games and the match. These guys could really throw. It's like they held out the first couple games and then let loose at the end. Balls. Oh well, being undefeated was fun for a while. The last two games of the season are against creampuffs, so we've got that going for us, which is nice.
The rest of the week has been pretty lame, but it's looking up. I'm headed to Lafayette tomorrow morning to visit Ginger and all my Purdue friends. I'm really looking forward to a three-day weekend and time with the girlfriend. I'm sure there will be much debauchery. More at eleven.
Author: Goat » Comments:
Alexander The Not-So-Great
Sunday, February 05, 2006
That's what my title would be if my job were "World Conquerer."
Yup. I stink when it comes to taking over the world. You might as well call me Pinky because while everyone else is planning total domination, I'm staring off into space wondering what we would look like without ears.
My roommates and I engaged in an epic game of Risk this weekend and as you can probably already guess, I lost. Bigtime. It wasn't like I didn't have a chance, either; I had a secure hold on the entire continent of Africa and Southwest Asia. Then came the pivotal turn. Booter (red) and Matthias (yellow) were trying to persuade me to attack Phil (blue) and eliminate him from the game. Sure, I might have made a dent, but the fact was that Phil had 30 armies stacked in Southeast Asia. It would cause more damage than good to attack. So I conquered a weak country, took my card, and waited to see what happened.
Narf!That's when the shit hit the fan. Booter & Matthias sensed my weakness and turned on it. Result: complete decimation of my global forces in one fell swoop. My inaction was my downfall. I was Neville Chamberlain when I should have been Winston Churchill or FDR.
It really says a lot about me in real life, too. It's so typical of me when faced with conflict to step back, wait a little longer, and see what else prevents itself when I should act on my gut. The whole time during that turn I kept thinking to myself, "You need to do something before this gets out of hand. Don't sit back like you always do." But did I listen? No. Damn you, self. Damn you.
But now I know. And knowing's half the battle. G.I. Joe! A real American hero, G.I. Joe is there!
(author's note: "Alexander the Not-So-Great" was shamelessy stolen from my best friend, Alaska, who could probably destroy me at Risk in one turn.)
Author: Goat » Comments:
