Christmas Wish List
Wednesday, December 06, 2006
It's that time of year again, and to help out my loyal readers I have compiled a list of gifts you can buy me for Christmas this year. Be warned, though; the awesomeness of these gifts is so great that you may become jealous and want to buy them for yourself. This is permitted, but only after purchasing said gift for me first. (click on the pictures to go to a website where you can purshase said items)
1. Animaniacs on DVD
Hellooooooooo Nurse!! Sweet freaking crapticles, Animaniacs is finally out on DVD! Endless hours of my childhood were "wasted" watching this spectacle of comedic genius and I feel it is partly to blame for my sick and twisted sense of humor. The rest of the blame lies squarely on the shoulders of my father (those of you who have met the man can attest to this). One of my favorite scenes from the show was set to the story of Anastasia, and Yakko, Wakko, and Dot were driving around in shriner buggies inside the royal castle. The butler yells at them, "SLOW DOWN!", to which Yakko replies, "Why? Everyone else here is Russian."
2. Kick-the-Cheat DollOkay, so I'm a few year behind on this one and some of you already own this item, but it doesn't diminish the awesomeness of it! I mean, why don't I already have one of these? Or any homestarrunner.com merchandise, for that matter? I freaking introduced all of you to Strong Bad over 5 years ago! What's up with that? All of you had opportunities to get me a shirt with Trogdor on it, or a Bear Holding a Shark hooded sweatshirt. But noooo. Jeez, some friends you are.
PS - this one freaked out my mom when I sent it to her as a gift idea. "What is this website you sent me to?!"
3. Shirts
Okay, okay. So shirts are not that awesome of a gift. But they do cover up my lack of chest hair and flabby abs, so in a way they're pretty awesome. And unless you are Nips, you probably like shirts, too. And if don't, too bad becuase I nee new ones. So back off, or I'll punch you in the face!
If none of those items rocked your effin' socks off, then hold on to your underpants, for I give you the greatest gift idea. Ever.
4. Bacon of the Month Club
Holy hog-meat, Batman! Is it really true? Some genius decided to form a club for bacon lovers (read: "everyone"). Imagine, a new type of bacon delivered to your doorstep every month! Hickory smoked for January, lightly salted for June, extra fatty come November. Oh man, my mouth is watering now just thinking about it.
As a member, you get more than just a new bacon every month. Check out all this awesome bacon related paraphernalia!
- Informative notes on all bacon selections
- Discounts on Grateful Palate bacon products and bacons
- Bacon of the Month Club Membership Card
- The Bacon Strip—Our monthly bacon comic strip for members only
- The Bacon of the Month Club Pig Ballpoint Pen
- A Little Rubber Toy Pig
- One free Bacon Tee-Shirt
I haven't been this giddy about a possible gift in ages. Sweet dear baby Jesus, wrapped in swaddling clothes, how better can I celebrate your birth than with a year's supply of tasty bacon?
Author: Goat » Comments:
Just call me Goat, J.D.
Monday, December 04, 2006
The "J.D." stands for
juris duticus, which is Latin for "one who serves jury duty." Or in my case, doesn't. Yup, so far the extent of my first ever jury duty has been to call the number on the summons only to be told not to show up. Three more days of this and I will have officially served my country as a worthwhile and participating citizen. Now I just need to register to vote...
I'm actually pretty bummed they haven't had a need for my service. I mean, what could be better than getting paid full salary to sit and listen to a trial. It's got to be at least as interesting as my current job, but moreso because it's different. There would probably be some semi-attractive ladies to ogle, which would be a large improvement over my place of employment.
Besides, I'd like to see the inner workings of our penal system (shut up, Booter). Mom has worked for lawyers my entire life, yet I have never seen a real trial in a real court. Plus, this way I would have something to talk about with my law school friends. Lord knows they don't want to talk about engineering with me, but I figure if I make the effort, who knows? Maybe they'll reciprocate. I'm not holding my breath, though.
Author: Goat » Comments:
Weekend becomes eclectic
Sunday, December 03, 2006
If weekends were deities, then this one would have have been omnipresent because I was
all over LA. Okay, so mabe not
omni-present, but maybe a localized version of it. But that's what happens when you hang out good ol' Gilbert. The man is the definition of a Rennaissance Man.
It all starts with some excellent sailing on the South Bay. We took out a 25-foot boat from Marina del Rey. It wasn't very windy so there weren't many boats out, which turned out to be a good thing since Gilbert wanted to teach me sailing techniques. We did all kinds of tacking, jibing, man-overboard drills, and I learned all about points of sail, luffing, and air foils.
Looking at the water was pretty depressing, though. There was a lot of floating litter and it was definitely Red Tide. For those of you who don't know about Red Tide, it's basically when
a lot of red-hued algae begins growing in the water, and it usually only happens in the summer when the water is warmer. But with all the run off, the algae has more bacteria to feed on (or at least that's how I understand it). Honestly, it's not hard to see why Californians are eco-crazy. Now they just need to stop talking and start doing.
Enough with the hippy talk (what am I becoming?). After paddling our asses back into the harbor (I told you there wasn't much wind), we hurried downtown to go see The Nutcracker with a group of Gilbert's friends. This may seem like normal behavior for mst of you, but it didn't seem to quite fit in my mind, mainly because I was out on a sailboat in shorts and short-sleeves, soaking in the warm sunshine. It does
not feel like Christmas here. Not one bit.
The ballet was performed by a touring Korean Ballet company called Universal Ballet. (I said "ballet" a lot in that last sentence. Ballet.) There were some interesting interpretations -- Jess was angry that Clara did not throw her shoe at the Rat King, but used a pillow instead. Who throws a pillow, honestly? I also found out that little girls are supposed to wear a red velvet dress when going to see The Nutcracker. Apparently none of the mothers in Los Angeles were aware of this fact as we only saw one girl following said rule. I'm not entirely convinced that this is in fact a rule; part of me thinks Jess was pulling my leg.
We had yet to eat dinner so we hit up the Daily Grill diner downtown after the show. We go there a few minutes before ten, which was good since they were about to close. I feasted on a delicious (and expensive) filet mignon. I highly recommend the restaurant if you need a place to go on a date and can afford it. Our waiter was pretty cool, too. She (like so many other in this town) was from the midwest and was out here trying to get into the film industry. We ended up having a good conversation with her and tried to get her to sit down and join us (we were the only table left) to no avail.
It was about 11:30 by the time we finished and nobody was quite ready to leave. So we headed across the street to the Westin Bona Vista hotel to ride the glass elevators that went along the outside of the buildling. We tried to get seats at the Bona Vista Lounge at the top (35th floor) which rotates and has a cool view of the city. The 45-minute wait was too long for our taste so we headed back down to the lobby bar instead. After one round, we were all ready to call it a night.
It was pretty sweet getting to see more of downtown LA. There's definitely a lot of stuff to do there, but surprisingly not a lot of people there. Jess claims this another point proving her argument that LA isn't a real city (she grew up in Jersey and went to college in Chicago). Sure, it's not the same as those places, but there's definitely stuff to do. And I plan to find out more.
Author: Goat » Comments:
3. Shirts